


A role to play

by Justmereachingforstars



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abyss - Freeform, Inner Struggle, Just a ton of Keith content tbh, Keith centric, M/M, blade of marmora, enjoy this mess, i guess, idk guys I just had to get this thought out I guess, kind of, klance, season 3 to 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 07:40:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16929204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justmereachingforstars/pseuds/Justmereachingforstars
Summary: Keith had a role to play, duties to fulfil and his role changes over the time.He never thought that it would get him back to them and give him a reason to stay





	A role to play

**Author's Note:**

> Well there goes that thought of mine

When Keith first left Voltron for the blades he was unsure of the role he would play. Until that point it was almost assigned and he played his role fine. The dropout, the lone wolf. That kid that never really belonged anywhere, never bothered to try to fit in. As a defender of the universe other duties applied to him. He was to protect the innocent and be there for his team as a paladin but he never really shook his imagine.

Even with Shiro there, who didn't come back quite the same (how could he) and having found a new bunch of kids that he felt responsible for, he couldn't help but feel himself an outsider in his team. He never quite knew how to connect with them outside of their paladin duty and once his heritage was revealed he felt another wall come up between him and these people that he was starting to get attached to, even though their lasting dislike of him persisted.

Whether it due to his lack of social and leading skills or because of his hair the other paladins often had something to say about him to each other. He still appreciated them deeply, he wasn't sure if he would've made it through losing Shiro once again without them. Lance as his right hand was something he came to like especially given their history. 

When he disappointed the team he stuck with him and Keith wasn't someone to easily forget when someone stood up for him. Was it because of this that he felt the need to leave them? Shiro was back again but their whole dynamic was disrupted. As much as Lance believed himself the one standing out, not even considering what he had brought to the team, just how important he was not only in his eyes, it was Keith that was the only logic answer. He didn't want to leave as much as he felt like the odd one out sometimes.

Keith had always been this way and his team had accepted him. That was more than most were willing to do. He himself had grown to love these people as friends, as his family even though he'd never admit it.

So to keep that family intact he was willing to leave.  
He didn't know what he was expecting at the blade of marmora, whether he would have to get used to isolation or would find acquaintances

Keith was surprised at how openly he was accepted into the blade following the awakening of his blade. Given their impression he wouldn't have expected them to take to him so easily.  
It wasn't anything close to what he had gotten used to with the paladins but the blades coming from all kinds of different species didn't care much about his half galra status or the way he was brought up. They were as loving as you'd expect what was basically a military to be. 

They were strict and had their priorities straight and Keith unlike what he expected felt himself fit in. He wasn't special, he didn't stand out. He was just another soldier fighting in this galactic revolution. How he would have killed for this kind of fitting in at the garrison. As much as he liked the fact that he was the best at something and was able to prove his worth to all those social workers that called him a lost case when they thought he couldn't hear them, it was calming to be respected and left alone. It was a quiet companionship and if he was honest next to the seasoned members he had much to learn.

So Keith started getting used to his role. From then he could grow and fight to keep voltron safe from a safe distance. It was for the best after all, they didn't need him and like this he could keep emotions as a secondary concern as they try hard to teach him.

He had to hold back from making things personal at their calls, seeing them such a rush of emotion but duty and the reason of the call way too important to interrupt. They were planning a major attack on the galra empire but seeing their faces made it hard for him to keep his face blank. Some days they would be the composed Paladins he had seen at diplomatic missions but there were days when their faces were strained. Shiro's smile too tight, Pidge's brows meeting in a serious frown, Hunk's head slightly bowed, Allura's motions stiff and Lance's eyes so sad that he wouldn't dare look into them too long scared of what he would see.

As much as those days bothered him for longer than he would admit he found peace in knowing that Shiro was with them. He has always been better with them and team voltron was as strong as ever gaining allies left and right.

He trusted Shiro to take care of them and he made sure to volunteer on more missions when theirs didn't work as well. The more he could support them the best. Many at the blades shared that mindset for different reasons.

It might have been his status as a paladin that made his fellow blades wary at the beginning. Prepared for someone thinking he was superior to them and more important than the mission. They soon dropped it after they saw how invested he was in his work and even appreciated when he subconsciously looked out for his teammates. 

He would even dare to say that he got along with most, many sharing traits that stood out as awkward to his human teammates. He appreciated it.

After a while even Kolivan seemed to have fully accepted Keith and he could swear he saw a small smile after an especially well performed sparring session. 

It seemed the blades forged a kind of kinship with one another as senior members trained the younger blades. Preparing them for what's to come, pride in their skills and shared trauma is what brought them together here. Keith wonders if this is what galra families feel like in their most formal form.

That's another thing that drove Keith there. He wields his mothers sword and fought alongside her people and he still didn'tknow anything about her. At this point he had accepted that she must've been dead before he made it here but he was afraid to ask Kolivan or anyone for that matter. Blades died every day and they were so busy right now anyways...and his personal life had no business out in the open. He had a role to play, duties to fulfill so that is what he does. He never heard anyone talk of the dead, in a way the blades were in constant mourning silence. Too many names to remember, how should he even begin to ask for someone whose name he didn't even know. Sometimes when another blade eyes his sword with even a slight expression of recognition Keith dared to hope but no one ever said anything so he didn't either.

The more fellow blades that he got close to died the more he understood their normal distance. Keith had come to know the agony of worry when his fellow Paladins got injured enough to fear for their lifes, he doesn't even want to imagine the feeling of knowing them dead. (Even though it's thoughts like these that kept him awake many nights.)

Keith dared to believe that it was his skills and not only his status as a former paladin that made Kolivan entrust him with as many missions, often under his personal supervision, as well as his place on the team on the mission to accompany Voltron in their big fight.  
When he thought about it, he tried not to, Kolivan supervised most of his missions even as busy as he was.

Keith tried not to think about it too much, whether it meant that he wasn't trusted or if the leader wanted to test the former paladin. (Later on he realized that maybe just maybe he was looking out for him.)

Keith felt almost sure in his new role in this fight. He was one of many to fight for the freedom of the universe. He was to have his fellow blade's back, to protect the innocent and to protect the Paladins Voltron from the shadows. (Often without them knowing.)

It was at Naxella that Keith thought his role was accomplished. He knew what he had to do, it scared him but the screams over the com assured him that it was the right thing to do. 

Voltron, the coalition, everyone's lifes were on the line. He was willing to fulfill his duties.  
It was only after he pulled back from his death that his actions came crashing down on him. His relief of knowing everyone safe, the sour taste in his mouth of knowing it was Lotor, distrust making him wary and finally the fact that he was still alive. Keith's hands trembled the first time since he's stood in front of his father's grave. He didn't feel the tears well up in his eyes, only noticed them after his checks were wet with the mass of them. 

It was Matt Holts shout of his name that ripped his eyes off the crumbling ship that would've been his grave. After confirmation and arrival back at the blades Keith tried to escape Kolivan's more so than usual furrowed eyebrows and seek the silence of his quarters thoughts stuck on the static and numbness as an after effect.

Kolivan assigned him a mission not long after. An quite unusual solo mission that had Keith apprehensive during his preparation. He had never heard of extracting blades and weirdly enough Kolivan himself seemed nervous. He was worried and what bothered Keith the most was that he was being sent on a mission whose target had the leader acting this unusual. Had he proven his dedication to the mission? Why was something feeling off? There was a tension among the blades in the debriefing room that he could not place and it bothered him immediately.

When he met the agent named Krolia he wasn't sure but he could have sworn that she was not expecting him. Had she not requested back up? 

She eyed his blade with a recognition the way that many have but the look she gave him after was different and it made his skin crawl. Did she know her? What happened for her to look at him like that, eyes betraying her guarded expression.

The agents strange behaviour threw him for a loop and her confession to being his mother had Keith wide eyed and he felt empty for a few seconds before he was flooded with more emotions than he can name.

It had been many years since he had been a son.

Months later Krolia confessed that she had planned to rig the base to explode upon intrusion killing everyone in the process. Kolivan had sent him knowingly as a prevention. She had not known of his presence at the blade of marmora before seeing him that day.

Keith learned the role of a son in a new way at the same time that he saw his story unfold in flashbacks that showed him something he never even thought had the potential of being a reality.

Keith saw himself being held by a mother that wanted and loved him. A mother that gave up on a life with his family to make sure they were safe. 

It send him reeling. It made him imagine what other paths could have been taken but in the end those of his happiness were the selfish ones that put others at risk. Something that never seems to change.

Their time on the whale like creature gave them time to bond, raise a wolf, to get to know each other and each other's history....but it also stretched ominously. Two years went by and anxiety ate him alive. 

Keith had no way of contacting Voltron, no way of knowing if they were still alive. They couldn't know how the war went on and when his distrust in Lotor was proven by Romelle and the colony he was desperate to get back to them.

And God when he finally saw the castle of lions he almost felt a kind of deja vu making fly up to it almost in a daze forgetting that it was not normal for him to just dock and go Home. Keith was reminded of that fact when he was hailed.

Barely able to school his expression he laid eyes on the Paladins, alive and unaltered by time. He was flooded with relief and amusement by Lances reaction, once again the first to notice a change in him.

It was with the mission in mind that Keith pushed past the enticing boy. He knew that once he let himself get all wound up properly in Lance he wouldn't be able to stop but when he saw Lances arms go down from a hug like pose his heart clenched.  
There was no time.

And there almost wouldn't have been time again. The realization that the Shiro he went to save wasn't real and the fact that he left a clone to keep the team safe dragged his relief of surviving into a dreadful guilt. One that made the panic burn in his throat as he tried to get back to them, as he fought with his battered body to make sure they made it out of the fight with Lotor alive. One that steeled him into silence when having everyone back and safe with a plan for the future. A guilt that held him back.

Keith spent much of his time in his lion flying about how this wasn't what he had planned. He had planned on delivering the message. About making sure they were alright, help them defeat Lotor and then report back to the blades where his life was before the abyss. He had missed them, immensely so but he had his duties, his role to play.

Keith wondered what it was now. He was back as the black paladin but things were different. There was more distance between him and the Paladins. One case hurting him more than he dares admit. It wasn't just him. The team had changed in the time that Keith was away. The pinched expressions and tired eyes were different up close, the tension untouched but heavy.  
There was a silence that he couldn't place until he found himself looking for Lance in conversations or during their rest stops and finds him off to the side more often than he knows how to stomach. He tries to assess the situation, to figure it who they need him to be. And as he watches Lance gaze at Allura longingly he figures that once again it's something that never seems to change.

**Author's Note:**

> More on this or rather not ?  
> Share your thoughts


End file.
